Here’s a fact we can take to the bank! Major events in your life such as having children, getting married, career transitions, parenting changes or situations all share one common tie: they can put you and your lifestyle in a predator vs. prey situation, like a frog and a fly! While most changes you undertake are for the better, change should not be taken lightly and can affect the balance in your life in the short term while you are implementing your changes.
Navigating the way to find balance in your life while in the change process can be daunting. Remember when embarking on any kind of change in your life, your normal routines may become altered until your new habits become ingrained as part of your life. So, just take your time. My philosophy of coaching is very simple, very basic and very effective. I firmly believe in taking small, realistic “baby steps” to affect a permanent change. Permanent change takes time and practice.
Here is a very simple exercise you can use if you feel it will help in the area of “self talk.” How you feel about yourself depends, to a surprising extent, on self talk. The never ending commentary that goes on in your head about what you do, think, feel and say. Much of this talk is negative, the voice of “critical parent”; probably much more critical then your parents actually were!
The first step in unhooking yourself from this inner critic is to simply become aware of it.
Here’s the exercise:
If you were as perfect as you wanted to be, how would you describe yourself? Using 10 words or less, write a statement that describes your ideal. Perhaps you would say “I’m a beautiful, loving, and valuable person.” We’ll call this statement an “affirmation.” On a piece of paper, write Affirmation on the left hand side (creating a column) and then on the right hand side write Inner Critic.
Write your affirmation statement in the Affirmation column. What did your inner critic say when you wrote your affirmation? Write that criticism in the right column. Now write your affirmation again, listening for the voice of the inner critic and writing that down in the right column. Do this 10 times. You may be surprised at how negative your “critic” can be. Take the worst comment and turn it around: For instance, if it says “You’re stupid and wrong,” write “I’m brilliant and right.” Pick three or four of your negative phrases and turn them into affirmations.
Choose the affirmation you like the most and write it in the space above. Cut it out and tape it on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, or your workspace.
Say this affirmation to yourself as many times as it takes for you to BELIEVE!